


Happy Ending

by greygerbil



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 08:53:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6797392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greygerbil/pseuds/greygerbil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jesse can't quite believe he got his happy ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Ending

They had bought their own bed today, a sturdy, inornate maple wood frame with a soft mattress that was supposed to be good for Jesse’s back, which he’d fucked up on a hunt some two years ago. The covers smelled like detergent and, even after a wash in the tub, the plastic they’d been encased in. They didn’t have a washing machine yet, so Cesar had knelt at the side of the tub, sleeves rolled up, kneading their new covers and their old clothes while Jesse had gone to hang wire clothes lines in an empty room. Done with that, he had watched Cesar from the doorway, the damp splashes on his shirt, the wet skin of his sinewy hands, the curve of his neck as he bowed his head, until Cesar told him that if he was bored, how about helping out?

Cesar was asleep now. Jesse had been staring into the darkness for so long that he could make out the details of his face, the dusting of stubble on his cheeks, the slack arc of his lips. Cesar always slept turned towards him, no matter in which motel bed or sleeping bag. Even in the car, when Jesse was driving, Cesar had always leaned against the window and turned to face him. Jesse had no idea why and he had never asked because it seemed like such a small, unimportant thing to notice that maybe Cesar hadn’t even done so himself, but Jesse had always liked it.

He tried concentrating on Cesar’s face so he didn’t start thinking about the noises in the house, normal noises, the wood creaking and cracking, maybe a mouse or two scurrying around. It was a nice house, big but old. They’d be busy fixing it up for a while, which was good. Jesse wanted to be busy; it would need a lot of distraction to avoid newspaper articles with words like ‘unexplained’ in the title.

A glance at his phone told him he’d been awake going on two hours now. Carefully, he pushed aside the thin covers and took his knife from under the bed. Cesar sighed as the mattress moved. The fingers that had rested on Jesse’s arm curled into a loose fist.

That was the part he liked, Jesse decided. He wasn’t sure about much because the last week had shown him he’d gotten really shit at being normal, but Cesar here, in their own bed, on their own property, where there weren’t spare keys at the reception with some pimply sixteen year old and Jesse could patrol the grounds if he felt like he had to, that was good.

There were five rooms upstairs and four downstairs, plus a kitchen separated by an island from the living room, and a porch overlooking what would be the paddock for the horses. Jesse opened every door and looked into every room. All but two were still empty. One contained their arsenal: twenty-four guns, silver bullets, iron bullets, knives of half a dozen metals, dried herbs and rat skulls and books with long lists of occult symbols. The other room was filled with the wire lines bending under the weight of the second tub of laundry Cesar had washed this morning.

Even before he had embarked on his walk, Jesse had known he was basically chasing his own paranoia, but indulging it felt more useful than making himself crazy and thrashing about until he woke up Cesar. He corrected the handle of a shut window that was slightly askew, tightening it in the closed position.

The last empty room he entered had light blue wallpaper. Someone with more ambition than talent had attempted to mimic clouds at the top with white paint. He flicked the lights on and took two steps inside, standing in the middle of what must have been a kid’s room. Jesse couldn’t fight off the thought that crept onto him, a vague image of Cesar on the couch, watching cartoons with a child sprawled on his lap, smiling.

After halting for just a second, he switched the lights off again and closed the door behind himself. Considering so far he hadn’t managed to get a couch or a TV or the peace of mind to believe that he could keep even the two of them safe, he was a thousand miles from that. Still, maybe he wouldn’t repaint this room just yet. Just in case.

He unlocked and opened the door to the porch. In the light of a near-full moon, he could see the as-of-now empty stables in the distance. They were a short walk from the house, which itself was connected by a dusty lane of baked, trampled earth to the main street, a solid way away, where a fifteen minute drive south east would take them to Silver City. The warm air was sweet with the scent of desert sage and blue cornflowers which grew around the edges of the house, in the shadow of bushes all around. Jesse could identify many of the plants because he’d been using them for counterspells and monster traps for so long.

It was silent except for the wind. Everything was fine, and Jesse found it hard to believe that.

There were footsteps behind him. Jesse shot around and stared at a shadow in the hall, which stepped forward to reveal itself as Cesar. He rubbed his forehead with his knuckles.

“Everything okay out here?” His voice was raspy with sleep.

“Yeah. Didn’t mean to wake you,” Jesse said, relaxing. “Go back to bed.”

Cesar ignored him, stepping out onto the porch as well. He was only wearing boxers and an open button-up shirt that Jesse was fairly sure belonged to himself, though at this point they shared pretty much everything.

“What’s going on?”

“I thought I heard something.”

Cesar made an indistinct noise of agreement. “I get that a lot, too.”

“Really?”

Jesse hadn’t noticed Cesar getting jumpy much.

“I’m trying to ignore it. Fake it ‘til you make it.” Cesar shrugged. “I hope, eventually, we won’t see ghosts behind every faulty light bulb.”

“And then one kills us,” Jesse said, looking out to the black shadows of the hills in the distance.

Cesar snorted. “You’re such an optimist.”

With a shake of his head, Cesar lowered himself onto the old wooden bench, looking up, and Jesse followed his example. There were a million stars overhead. Jesse had spent a lot of time on the empty way from somewhere here to somewhere there, or in small, out-of-the way villages, where the sky at night was just as clear, but this was different because he knew he’d see the sky like this, from this spot, hopefully for the rest of his life.

He lowered his gaze again. Cesar was absent-mindedly fiddling with the bandage around his leg and Jesse grabbed his wrist and pulled it away.

“Stop that.”

They were silent for a moment. Jesse still held Cesar’s arm, feeling his slow pulse like a rhythm against his fingers.

“We are done, right?” Cesar asked. “I mean, unless something shows up on our doorstep, vamps drinking people in Silver City. That’s still what you want?”

Jesse turned to him, but before he could answer, Cesar continued, staring stubbornly out over the fields.

“‘cause if this isn’t for you after all, I’ll go back on the road with you. I like this, but if you’re unhappy, there’s no point.”

There was a bitter taste on Jesse’s tongue. No, that wasn’t what he wanted, and he certainly didn’t want it for Cesar.

“No,” he said, and grabbed Cesar’s shoulder, turning him towards him. “We’re doing this, okay? We promised. I just have to get used to shutting it out – knowing it’s all still out there, you know.”

“I know what you mean. It feels like our responsibility. But we earned this,” Cesar said, sternly.

Yeah, that was the point, Jesse realised. Even after fifteen years on the road, it didn’t really feel like he’d made up for running away then, when he had found Matty for the first time, green-eyed and snarling; even killing the monsters hadn’t done that. Nothing, he thought, ever would, especially not with memories of his mother, teary-eyed, begging him to say the truth, asking him why he hadn’t helped. All of that shit was deeply buried in his head and so Jesse still waited for the other shoe to drop, for something to come and take away all this because he hadn’t made up for his mistake.

Impulsively, he pulled Cesar against his chest. He was warm, really too warm in the sweltry summer night, and the old shirt was soft under Jesse’s fingers. Taking away what he had now, that meant this place, the peace he wanted to find here, but it mostly meant Cesar, because without him this would just be some hut, some piece of land no more or less meaningful than any other spot on earth.

Cesar had his arms around him, too, twisting his head a little, probably trying to get a look at Jesse’s face and figure out what was going on, but Jesse didn’t talk, just squeezed him until Cesar inhaled sharply. Jesse wasn’t twelve anymore, not small and scared and helpless. He wasn’t going to lose anyone now. He could make this place his fort and Cesar would be by his side with a blade in his hand.

Letting go, he pressed a brief, hard kiss on Cesar’s mouth.

“You’re sure you okay?” Cesar asked.

“Yeah, I will be.” Jesse got up. “Come on, it’s getting really late. We’re supposed to live like normal people now, remember? We can at least try not to run around in the middle of the night.”

Finally, Cesar smiled again. “Good plan,” he said. “But since we’re already awake… we haven’t really tried out the new bed yet.”

Jesse grinned, placing his hand between Cesar’s shoulder blades as he let him enter the house first. He locked the door to the porch twice behind them, then put his arm around Cesar’s shoulders while they walked back to the stairs.

It was true Jesse didn’t really know whether he deserved this, or if he’d ever feel like he did, but he sure as hell believed Cesar did; and for Cesar, there was no happy end without Jesse, so he’d make this work.


End file.
